I have grown so much as a person, mom, wife and artist. I have learned to disconnect from the past and move on with the future. I recently looked back at some of the photos from the beginning of our adventure and shed many happy tears. It didn't help that I was listening to Clari de Lune at the same time, because that song always gives me the feels. But I just can't help but look back with gratitude for the AMAZING experience we've had together. The memories and times spent seeing new things has been the most rewarding thing I've ever done in my life. I hope my babes will remember at least part of our adventure, if not in their minds, then in their hearts.
I remember being so afraid.
I didn't know what we were exactly doing. I didn't know if we'd find some destination I would fall in love with and move to. I didn't know if somehow living at the beach would "cure" my chronic illness (which it did not) but I kept hoping anyways. I didn't know where we would go next. It was scary not knowing.
But in my heart I knew God had a plan for little me and my little family. And I felt so at peace with our decision.
Every time that I'd get a fearful thought coming into my head this overwhelming peace would come over me and tell me "You're exactly where you need to be. You are doing exactly what you need to do. This is in my hands." I felt it then as I feel it now, that peace, knowing it's going to be OK.
And that's what got me through those fearful times.
If I could go back and change only one thing about our excursion it would've been to say: "Chill girl. Gods got your back, live a little and enjoy these amazing moments because it isn't going to be forever"
As I look back, I know that these times spent together will live forever through photos for my kids. We laughed, we loved, we cried, we played, we had adventures and we dug many many sand holes and jumped wildly and freely and happily through the beautiful flamboyant waves. My darlings, this life is short. Don't for a second waste a moment of it.