A cloudy day

I really really love living near the waves. It has brought me so much joy amidst the struggles I am dealing with. 

It seems like every single aspect of my life is being controlled by my chronic conditions. I feel like I'm trying to climb out of a sand bucket and the crabs keep pulling me down. Limited food, can't be outside almost everywhere, can't touch certain things, cant breathe certain things, can't use certain things. Clean mouth, clean hands before touching mom or giving kisses.   It all seems like so much overload, that some days I feel like I'm in some kind of dream land, where my life isn't real anymore.

And then I paint. And for a minute or two life feels ok. (Until I come home and my lungs are stiff and flared and I have hives down my arms from the paints)

*even with gloves and a mask on

I know there's a plan in all this, and someday I'll know what the heck this was for.  Obviously it's to learn some things. 

I'm connected with some people going through similar situations.  I feel heartbroken that I never recognized all the people out their hurting before I became ill.  I was too busy worrying about my "normal" life and "normal" problems to bother with anyone else's. Yet now I have extreme problems and amazingly have so much more time to console, comfort and pray for other people's problems. It wasn't my time that changed, it was my priorities.

One of the lovely women I'm connected to, posted a page online from a book she's reading (I don't know the name of it)

 "Trust me in times of confusion- When things don't make sense and nothing you do seems to help. This type of trust delights me, because I know it is real. Invite me to enter into your struggles- to be ever so close to you. Though other people may not really understand what you're going through, I understand perfectly. Find comfort in knowing you're not alone in your struggles. I am with you, watching over you continually.

Long-term trials can drain you of energy and hope, making it hard for you to keep trusting me. But I have given you a wonderful Helper, the Holy Spirit, who never runs out of strength. You can ask for his help, praying: "I trust you, Jesus; help me, Holy Spirit." Instead of trying to resolve all your problems, simply rest in my presence. Trust that there is a way forward, even though you can't yet see it. I am providing a good way for you, though it is bumpy at times. When the road is rough, cling all the more tightly to me. As your soul clings to me, my right hand upholds you."

An RV bedroom redo

I finally got around to taking some photos of the RV!  

I have a before photo of the Motorhome before we renovated.

 Before

And 

After

We put down peel and stick vinyl wood flooring, repainted 'EVERYTHING' and hung 3m hooks for my hat collection as well as a guitar holder.

Clean, White, Clear and Fresh!

The desk  is an Ikea desk that we installed that can fold down for driving and be up as a work station.

Deciding to do white was an easy decision. With such a small space, I knew it would lighten it up and leave it feeling airy and larger then it is. Our Bedroom is happy :)

Atlantic

Today is a beautiful day! One of the first I've seen of many freezing cold and rainy days out here.
The ocean here is  completely different from the Gulf.

The sea takes on more of a silvery blue color with sand that's a beautiful contrasting orange (and really just made of tiny shells!)  The Gulf seemed to have more green hues that contrast with the white sand.

When you dig your feet in the sand here, it feels like your sticking your feet in a pile of cooked brown rice.  If you look up close you can see tiny shells making up the sand. It's beautiful.

quiet

 I heard a talk in church that boosted my faith and helped me to feel at peace.

Are we not all beggars?

Have mercy on the poor (kindness)
Have you not at some point needed an answer to your prayers?

We all need God to help us through mortality.
Look for others who are going through your trials, you know how to help them!

We need constant revelation from God- We need to continually ask and follow revelation.

Train yourselves to ask.

We should tune ourselves everyday to feel those frequencies so that in times of stress we can feel those revelations.

You see people come into your lives and you don't understand why; you see people leave and you don't understand why, but that's God working.  He has a plan.

You're not waiting for this big miracle to come into your life, you're waiting for those small and simple things.

Let thy bowels be full of charity unto all man. Give charity.  Let virtue garnish they thoughts.

"If you practice the small things day by day, you will learn to have unshaken faith"- 'Eyring'

Magical water

This morning started off with some ferocious winds outside. It jostled the hog around and woke me up.

I started the day with '19 kids and counting' and 'Kate plus 8' (This coming from a girl who hardly ever watches tv any more), while we shuffled the kids around trying to get them to clean up their messes. One mess makes it look like the entire rv's exploded. I just felt tired and wanted a break from thinking. 

The winds died down more by the afternoon. Our rv park has a mini playground that the kids have been dying to go out and play on. It seemed rather rebellious playng on metal equipment while a storm was billowing up above my head. But I didn't heed it.  I guess I've turned into a rebel of sorts not heeding all safety precautions and slowly creeping out of my shell of fear. In that moment I wanted to play and so I did. We all did, and we laughed and enjoyed ourselves, and even if just for a half hour, I lived without fear of anything life held against me.

The storm was brewing up waves like crazy. Waves that I've never seen come this far up on the beach. But they were incredibly magical!   I mean, talk about the ocean  feeling like a spiritual body! 

When it rages like it did, there's a powerful energetic feeling you get from it. And even though everything in your senses tells you not to go too close, you feel drawn to it. You want to feel part of what ever that magical stuff is. 

It's like Gods in there I tell you.

Living free

I've taken up some plein air painting which has been a source of joy for me. 

Painting is always healing for my soul.  I have been shocked at how COLD it is in Florida! Our hometown wasn't even this cold.

Many times when I've  seen a beach house or walked out onto the sand I've thought "dang I know why people live on the beach!"  It's like connecting the soul with a piece of heaven and you can't help but be in awe.

We finally got a mouse and keyboard (we left mine behind accidentally). Soon we'll set up the computer and get things rolling with it and I'll post some of the places we stayed at. 

Each place had its pros and cons, but overall we've liked them all. 

It's been fun to drive to the beach and think wow, that would be cool to live here.... Oh wait! I do live here. How awesome is that? I like that I am free to roam. If One place doesn't work for us, we move onto the next. 

Thoughts

 

Sitting cozied up on the couch watching my electric heater/fireplace thinking about our adventure so far. It's a very rainy and cold day today.

Chronic pain is my partner it seems, and it is as though it's not planning on leaving anytime soon like I originally thought it might by getting out of the allergy region of our state. It's just a set of new ones to deal with. 

It has been debilitating some days and I have questioned the sanity of attempting this move. However I have had some refreshing breathes of air when I'm away from the stinky driftwood of the beach and the beautiful green trees and shrubbery. Sometimes that can make it all worth it. People are meant to be outside, being cooped up is not living. 2 years of that and I'm calling it quits on that lifestyle at least for now.

This lifestyle is something exciting and would thoroughly be enjoyable without this chronic companion. I am going to move forward with finding another specialist of some sorts because the pain is unbearable. I don't think God wanted to throw me into the depths of woe. I know he has a plan for me. Faith in God is waiting for his timing. I am probably the most impatient person and he is definitely letting me learn patience - I cry like I'm a 3 year old from the horrible migraines that flare up and the burning stabbing pain in my lungs and respiratory system that feels like I'm being slowly stabbed. Infection feels like it's riddled all up my shoulders, neck, head and sinus's.

I don't know how long I can endure this anymore, but on my good days I will  enjoy my kids and soak up every happy moment with them.  Enjoying the moment now is important to all of us. 

We enjoyed seeing the land change as we drove through it.

Have you ever seen a swamp before? Drive through Louisiana. Crazy stuff.

The greenery of Louisiana:

Texas heading east:

As soon as we get my computer rolling I am planning to do some little previews of the places we stay. 

In the meantime we are settled in an area for a couple days then we plan on finding a place we can stay for a longer period of time.

I'll show you where we stayed in Texas.